almost lover

Your fingertips across my skin
The palm trees swaying in the wind
Images
You sang me Spanish lullabies
The sweetest sadness in your eyes
Clever trick

Well, I never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

We walked along a crowded street
You took my hand and danced with me
Images
And when you left, you kissed my lips
You told me you would never, never forget
These images

No

Well, I’d never want to see you unhappy
I thought you’d want the same for me

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should’ve known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

I cannot go to the ocean
I cannot drive the streets at night
I cannot wake up in the morning
Without you on my mind
So you’re gone and I’m haunted
And I bet you are just fine

Did I make it that
Easy to walk right in and out
Of my life?

[Chorus]
Goodbye, my almost lover
Goodbye, my hopeless dream
I’m trying not to think about you
Can’t you just let me be?
So long, my luckless romance
My back is turned on you
Should have known you’d bring me heartache
Almost lovers always do

honestly happy

                                 Its been so long, so long since I have felt this good. Even with all the stress that’s going on in my life, I am for once proud of myself. I get 100%’s on tests, at the least 80%’s. And I love the feeling of not having to make up work, or having to redo everything. This isn’t just about school though either. I am finally comfortable with myself. I don’t look at the mirror and constantly pick out my every single flaw. Besides, I signed a “contract” that I will not criticise my body. I mean, the past two weeks, I have not worn ANY make up. Not even cover up. Went natural to school, and I didn’t once feel like everyone was criticising my face or anything. I am finally confident with myself. I believe in myself. I am pleased with myself. I work so hard every single day, and it pays off. I am going to thank my mom for getting on my ass about school, because if she didn’t, then I would probably be where I was last year, failing. And I also apologise for bugging you to stay home all those times. But, I am happy with myself and everything I do. I smile more, I laugh more. I live my life the best I can. Sure, still afraid of cars, but that takes time. Congrats to me…I am happy. And I can now say those words without faking a happy tone and a smile on my face. The words, tone and smile are all real. All me. And I love it.

hate em’

I hate the fact that I cannot trust a car anymore. I don’t feel safe. I seriously love going and running errands with my mom, but now, I get so damn paranoid and I freak out in the car. I cried in it the other day. I screamed her name a couple times too. I hate it so damn much. Say I’m over-reacting, I don’t care. Cos I don’t think I am. I think its just taking me a while. I used to think my mom drove like a grandmother. Now, in my eyes, she drives like a damn Bat out of Hell. And my dad already drove like a bat out of hell, so now, its ten times worse being in a car with him. He swerves all over the road, speeds like no other, has HORRIBLE road rage….I hate riding with him. I hate intersections. I hate the flashing yellow lights. I hate it when you are going 50 mph and you get to the light, and it quickly turns yellow. I hate front passenger seats. Give me a license, I won’t use it. Give me a bike, I’ll ride that thing even in the winter. I especially hate The Corner of Northland Drive and 12 Mile Road. I hate it now more than ever. But, its been 3 weeks. My hands still screwed. My knee still hurts if its touched. And me, well, I have something new for my shit list. Cars. But, I had to get that out of me.

                                            ~Samm d’Massacre~

wishes

I wish I could help you out more. I wish I could give you all the advice in the world. I wish that she realised how sincere you really are.

Eric, I wish that she understood that you think about her 24/7. I wish she knew that shes the topic of our conversations. I wish she saw how in love with her you really are. I wish alot of things for you. And unfortunately, not all wishes come true. Maybe a couple of these ones will come into reality, but I don’t know.

You did do wrong in the past. Horribly wrong you were to hurt her like that. But look at you now, so dedicated, so sincere, so loving. But, you are giving up too soon. You say its too late for you, and that she’s right, you’ll Never be together again. But, I say its never too late, she’s wrong, you’re wrong, you will be together again. And I know this because I’ve been there. And I know how it feels. You get a sick feeling in your gutt when you think there’s a possibility they are with another person, You start to get anxious when they say they might come over to talk to you, you get pissed off when they leave you hanging. You get so many ways, and feel so many things…but there’s that one thing that is always there throughout the anger and confusion. That love you have for them. Just remember Eric, everything I told you earlier tonight. Hints I gave you as to, “what women want”. And know that I am here, your personal relationship counselor…who sadly never follows her own advice.